Ask Not Why, But How

Many of my athletes are familiar with the Rest Day Reflection, where I ask them to send me a high-level picture of how they felt this past week and what they are observing.  

• How are you balancing the training?

• How is the athletic self doing, balancing, growing?

• What are your daily challenges?

• Where did you struggle?

• And how can tomorrow be better?

I specifically write in this description: 

I am not looking for the why, I am looking for the how. How describes action. Why leaves us in the past.

The approach most use to deal with a problem is to first seek to understand the reasons behind it, and only then can one find the appropriate counterarguments. 

As Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung put it, “To ask the right question is already half the solution to a problem.”  So instead of asking why something isn’t working or happening, start asking how it can be improved, and what you can do better the next time.  

The quicker, more effective way of addressing the issue is by asking “How.”

By asking my athletes how I can help them improve their training, their discipline, their daily routines or their mindset—rather than why they missed training—I can contribute in a more productive manner. This helps harness the power of “How.”

Let's be clear: the underlying challenge or issue has not changed. But moving straight to the “How,” and uncovering what needs to be done allows us to identify the underlying issue just as clearly.

Some experts in psychology describe this as having conversations “back-to-front,” taking us in the opposite direction of the way in which we are familiar.

Simply put, asking “Why” is looking backward, raising shortcomings from the past.  Asking “How” changes the nature of the conversation by focusing on the future, allowing you to identify solutions that will serve you going forward.